Stop Complaining and Be the Change You Want to See

Posted On September 14, 2021

Complain, Complain, Complain!

I was recently listening to a talk radio station. The speakers were complaining about all sorts of worldwide issues, but they were offering few solutions. No doubt, if you subscribe to Facebook, you are constantly bombarded with posts consisting of complaints without offered solutions. I’m convinced many people just really enjoy complaining!

I’m not one of those people!

Stop Complaining and Get the Facts

Often I hear people complain about things they really know nothing about. They rely on what someone else says. We all do that sometimes, but I try hard not to. Social media makes it easy for us to assume things to be true because the posts seem genuine and you agree with the sentiment.

For example, I’ve seen quite a few posts where Missouri citizens complain about education saying something like, “Schools need to get back to the basics and teach kids about banking, how to write checks and follow a budget.” The post will get lots of likes and comments agreeing.

FACT: Personal finance is a required course for high school graduation in the state of Missouri. FACT: Many schools use the conservative Dave Ramsey curriculum for teaching personal finance. FACT: Few people write checks anymore. FACT: Students learn about investing, the Stock Market and bitcoin in personal finance class; things that many of my generation know noting about. FACT: Students are taught about the dangers of credit card debt.

Teaching the subject matter, doesn’t mean the students will learn from it; but it is taught.

As a former high school teacher, I could go on and on about many misconceptions regarding what is actually taught in school but that will make me just another complainer.

Stop Complaining – Take Action

Anyone can complain, but Anyone can also Take Action. I’ll give you some examples of how I have taken action in the past.

Stop Complaining – Make Good Memories

I worked three years as the local high school’s office secretary. Many well-meaning parents would see me at various functions and start complaining about how things were done at the school. I got the feeling they wanted me to make changes, but I was just the secretary! Nevertheless, they continued to complain to me.

I finally got tired of all the complaining and decided to take action. I invited all parents to a meeting to discuss their concerns about the high school. Only 15 or so parents showed up but it was enough to explain my idea. I suggested that we form a group called the Positive Action Group (PAG) and I volunteered to serve as the President. I asked them to discuss changes they would like to see at the high school. After listing a number of things, I asked them to select the top three they would like to tackle for that school year.

They chose the following goals

• Bring the prom back to the high school (a huge undertaking),
• Have teachers select a boy and girl from each grade level to be Student of the Month based upon their positive attitude toward staff and peers and their genuine effort to learn; not their grades.
• Have students select a Staff Member of the Month based upon their attitude.

These goals were accomplished and they resulted in less complaints and happier parents, students and staff.

Stop Complaining – Or Pay

In my early 40’s, I noticed a lot of my girlfriends complaining about various things whenever we got together. Common complaints were about menopause, our teenagers growing up and leaving home, and how mundane our lives were becoming. (It goes without saying that there were complaints about husbands too.)

I realized I wasn’t really enjoying these conversations and we needed to become more positive friends. So, I formed a group I called The Changing Ladies.

I mailed invitations to about 15 girlfriends inviting them to A Changing Ladies party at my house. I asked them to bring their bibles, lots of dimes and be prepared to go on a tour and eat out. Although mystified and a bit apprehensive, most showed up.

I explained that I thought a lot of us were going through changes in our life that were resulting in us becoming complainers and I thought we could do better. I suggested that we plan a series of fun day trips. I wanted to start with a devotional to get us in a good mindset followed by a trip that included lunch out. AND, every time someone was caught complaining about something, they had to pay a dime to our Change Jar.

For several years, The Changing Ladies enjoyed outings to shops, tours of model homes, live plays, delicious lunches and positive conversation. We had so much fun, we were rarely caught complaining! Although I do recall my friend, Debbie, putting 50 cents in the jar as soon as she arrived one day as she said, “I’m in a complaining kind of mood, so I might as well pay up front.” Truthfully, she was one that always kept us laughing and in a good mood.

Stop Complaining – Take Action

I attend a wonderful country church that has sponsored many senior high youth groups through the years. During my sister’s teen years, the group was about 40 strong. During my teens, we reached out to other churches for a combined group of about 40. When my kids were in their teens, the groups probably ranged from 10-25 kids.

When my oldest grandson came along, sadly he was the only one who would attend the senior high group so he eventually quit. I desperately wish that his experience had been better and I didn’t want to see his siblings have the same experience. I found myself complaining about the lack of senior high youth and how I didn’t think were making a real effort to reach out to them.

I’m out of state for much of the winter but always around in the summer. Our church has youth group activities in the winter but none in the summer. So, I decided to host some summer senior youth group activities. I mailed out 100 invitations with the dates of six activities. Most of the kids were not associated with my church but the list was compiled by two adults and some youth of the church.

After teaching high school for 19 years, I can honestly say I have a passion for high schoolers. They are so fun and determined, yet so vulnerable to the chaos and temptations this world offers. I want them all to be able to be a part of a bible-based youth group where they can receive some positive, godly direction.

The first activity resulted in 5 kids attending – A senior boy, a junior boy, a sophomore girl and two freshman girls. After the senior boy said he was glad to get the invitation because his church didn’t have a youth group, I called it a SUCCESS!

By the end of the summer, 19 youth had attended one or more of the activities. About half were not affiliated with our church. I pray they continue to be active with our group throughout this winter and I look forward to hosting more activities next summer.

Stop Complaining – Community Inspirations

Super Sam Foundation and Ava’s Avengers

For the past five years, my husband and I have supported the Super Sam Foundation founded by our neighbors, Matt and Cassie Santhuff. They lost their son to pediatric cancer. In his battle against the cancer, they discovered that only 4% of all federal funding for cancer research is allocated for pediatrics. They knew all kids deserved better. From late 2014 to 2020, they have funded more than $330,000 in research!

This year’s primary fundraising event is on Friday, September 24. Go to http://supersamfoundation.com for more information.

This family rightfully complained about the lack of funding for research and about the fact that their precious son, Sam, died from cancer. But, inspired by Sam’s valiant and heroic fight and his desire to ease the suffering of other childhood cancer victims, they converted their complaints into action.

Sam’s twin sister, Ava, also went into action creating Ava’s Avengers that provides Sibling Support Packs, because “Cancer is a Family Fight!”

Wyatt’s Warriors

Another community youth, 12-year-old Wyatt Salmons, was diagnosed with a fatal brain tumor (DIPG) in 2019 and lost his battle in 2020.

The parents, Jason and Veronica Salmons, and little brother, Cash, have “pledged to keep up the fight against child cancer and preserve Wyatt’s legacy in ways that reflect his personality, character, and spirit. Continuing Wyatt’s legacy is #wywefight. Wyatt’s Warriors is not a foundation or charity on its own. Rather, we have chosen to directly support those that are already doing great things. Super Sam Foundation was integral in helping our family while we were in the fight. We fully support Super Sam Foundation and their work on four essential areas. childhood cancer and awareness, advocacy, research and support.”

This Saturday, September 18, they will be raising fund’s for the Super Sam Foundation by hosting the 2nd Annual Wyatt’s Warriors Cruise & Carnival. Find out more at https://www.facebook.com/groups/becausewyatt

Super Sam Foundation’s Youth Ambassadors

The Super Sam Foundation’s Youth Ambassadors are a group of young people (8th-10th) grade using their voices to affect real change on Capitol Hill where they voiced their concerns over the lack of funding for pediatric cancer research with state representatives during Childhood Cancer Advocacy Days in Washington, D.C. They are Sam’s twin, Ava, Wyatt’s cousin, Lauren, and Wyatt’s classmates, Casper and Isabelle.

I’m pleased to say I know each of these kids and am proud that instead of just complaining, they are taking positive action. https://supersamfoundation.com/about#ourteam

Stop Complaining and Be the Change You Want to See

Do you find yourself constantly in the complaining mode? Take Action. Be the Difference Maker. Be the Change You Want to See.

You can take small steps like I have. Or, you can be like Sam’s and Wyatt’s families and friends and take big steps. No matter the case, you can turn your complaints into action.

I’m just an ordinary person who prefers the positive over the negative; the optimist over the pessimist. You can be that person too.