A Shivaree Required a Good Sense of Humor

Posted On February 11, 2021

Shivarees appear to be non-existent today but the memories of them linger with folks from Hatton. To my knowledge, it’s been at least 35 years since anyone in our area has been shivareed. In fact, most people under the age of 50 probably have never heard of a shivaree. Let me enlighten you on the subject.

Mirriam-Webster defines shivaree as “A noisy mock serenade to a newly married couple.” It goes on to explain that shivarees were common in 19th century rural America with the serenade performed with pots, pans and any other loud noisemaker. Sources say they were also a custom in rural England and France.

You’re probably wondering why I am even thinking about shivarees. Well, it started with me dropping a tack in our bedroom when I was taking down Christmas decorations. I didn’t know if I had dropped it onto the bed or the carpet. That was weeks ago and I still haven’t found the tack! This experience, and today’s 15 degree temperature, brings to mind my sister’s shivaree.

Shivaree – A Surprise you both Wanted and Dreaded

It was the custom that after a couple was married, a group of friends and family would sneak up to their house, usually after the newlyweds had gone to bed, and start banging on pots and pans, the door, and anything else noisy until the couple invited them in. Then it was expected that the newlyweds would serve refreshments of sandwiches or candy. Often, cigars and beer were also expected. Various pranks may have been carried out or sometimes the evening would end with everyone playing card games.

This event was dreaded because it meant having to spend their precious funds on the refreshments plus enduring the pranks.

Even though the event was meant to be a celebration of the marriage, it could prove quite stressful and really test their sense of humor. This was especially the case if one of them was new to the area and had never even heard of a shivaree!

Despite the dread, everyone wanted to be shivareed or they felt left out and ignored.

My Parent’s Shivaree

Mother is the only one who ever shared any memory of their shivaree. I think Daddy just wanted to forget all about it. When she described it, I thought she must surely be exaggerating but since reading about others around the Midwest, I’ve come to believe she probably wasn’t.

The main thing I remember is she said several of the men had been drinking heavily and they pulled my dad’s pants down and drug him down the gravel road! She didn’t tell of anything happening to her but just seeing this done to my dad would’ve sent her into hysterics, I imagine.

I assume they had to provide refreshments, and I know they had very little money to spare at that time.

My sister Shirley’s Shivaree

When I decided to write about shivarees, I asked my two sister’s to share what they remembered about theirs. Here’s Shirley’s account from her first marriage.

“Roger and I got married on February 1st and we knew we wouldn’t be shivareed in Columbia as it was all Hatton people and they were waiting for us to go to the folks.

It was early March and cold but clear and we were going to have supper at Mom and Dad’s and spend the night. Just as we were finishing supper, I saw some cars creeping along the road and up the drive to their house. They didn’t have their lights on and it was dusk and they were needed for safe driving. We quickly realized what it was and Roger ran upstairs and put on some old pants and shoes!

Soon the cars were parked and people began to bang on pots and pans and rap on the door. Mom and Dad turned on the outside lights and opened the door for all the people to come in and several young men grabbed Roger and drug him to the pond just west of the house to throw him in. He was quite strong and decided to take some of the fellows with him! I think Robert McCarty is the only one that went all the way in with him but they both were tossed into the pond and were extremely cold! Dad loaned Robert a pair of coveralls so he could get out of his wet clothes and Roger put on his dry clothes.

After that excitement, we passed bowls of candy and offered coffee and hot chocolate to all our friends who had gathered. When everyone was gone and we got ready for bed, we realized the revelers had short sheeted our bed and crumbled crackers in the bed. We finally got that all cleaned and at 1 a.m. an alarm clock went off! We found it under the bed and turned it off only to have five more go off before morning, spaced about an hour apart and hidden all over the room.

We weren’t too alert getting ready for church the next morning but got ready, got in our car and as we started it, a smoke bomb went off! It made a high pitched sound and black smoke poured out from under the hood.

We had purchased lots of candy and some cigars in anticipation of a shivaree but had no idea it would be such an organized event! I attended many shivarees during my high school and college days but I think it’s no longer a rite of passage!”

My sister Peggy’s Shivaree

“We were married December 9th and I can tell you more about the weather that day, than at the shivaree. We had an ice storm with about 8 inches of snow on top of that, making it impossible for most of Dave’s family and friends to attend. His mom, Aunt Norma, brother Bob and sister Becky had driven up the day before so they could attend the rehearsal and Norma could put the wedding cake together. She had already baked it but she had to put the different tiers together.

Jim (the groom’s father), however, didn’t come until the day of the wedding. The metal awning on the front of his IGA store (in Desloge) had caved in from the ice storm and he had to clean that up before he came. Then he got lost trying to find our house (what a surprise) ha! He ended up stopping at Woodrow and Jalie’s house (our cousins) to ask directions. Small world! Then, after the wedding, our car had been barracaded by hugh snowballs!

She continues, “Back to shivaree. We were living in Kansas City and had gone home for the weekend. I think it was around the first of February. The weather was cold but no snow. We knew they were having a dance at Hatton that night, so we had thought we might get shivareed that night. Sure enough, because the leaves were off the trees, we could see a whole string of cars coming around the bend over by the Bartison place. So we ran to the barn and hid in the hayloft. We watched for about ten minutes but they never found us, se we came out of hiding and surprised them!

They threw Dave in the pond and he says he grabbed someone and took them in with him, but he can’t remember who it was. Thank God they didn’t throw me in or I would have sunk like a rock.

We remember that our bed got short sheeted and a couple of alarm clocks went off during the night, but that’s about all we remember. We both draw a blank when we try to recall who was there!!! Ya know, that was 59 years ago and the cobwebs are taking over the brain!”

My Memory of Peggy’s Shivaree

Not being able to find the tack in our bedroom last week reminded me of Peggy’s shivaree. I was only five at the time, but I still remember something that she doesn’t, because it happened to me and Grandma and was my fault!

Evidently, someone asked little ole’ me where my sister would be sleeping that night and I showed them the bed Grandma and I ended up sleeping in. When we got ready to get in bed, Grandma pulled back the covers and there were straight pins scattered all over the sheet! Grandma was more than a little irritated with me when it was determined that I told people that would be where Peggy and Dave would be sleeping. I guess some of them didn’t trust me, so they put crackers in the other bed, just to be safe!

Now that I can’t find the tack in our bedroom, I understand Grandma’s ire a little better. I bet it was weeks before she felt comfortable stepping with bare feet around that bed and wondering if there was a pin stuck somewhere in the mattress.

Other Community Shivarees

When I was still a little girl, Peggy took me to a shivaree of Jim and Wilma, Hatton friends. That memory really stands out with me. As I recall, they dumped the garbage pail on Wilma’s head and I thought that was awfully mean.

The other most common prank people pulled at shivarees was to take all the labels off of all the canned food so the couple had no idea what they were opening. I remember doing that at the last shivaree I ever attended, and the last one I remember happening in our community.

It was for Verna and Joe. It was the second marriage for them both, as their first spouses had passed away. Everyone around had known and loved their first spouses. We thought a shivaree would be a good way to show our approval of a second marriage.

Looking back, it’s hard to understand some traditions. I mean, why would anyone think it was a sign of celebration or approval of a marriage to surprise newlyweds, expect them to serve you refreshments, throw the men into a pond and remove all the labels off their canned food?!

They no longer have shivarees in our community. We weren’t shivareed and that’s just one more reason that I don’t yearn for the “good old days!” However, I have some friends/relatives that have pulled some pranks that tested our sense of humor! I’ll share some of those stories another day.

Your Shivaree

If any of my readers had a shivaree, please share it in a comment below. I know some of you did!